DECIDE 2nd favorite post of 2013

"We're all gonna die. We don't get much say over how or when. But we do get to decide how we're gonna live. So do it. Decide. Is this the life you wanna live? Is this the person you wanna love?"  This was Dr. Richard Webber's challenge/commentary on the Grey's Anatomy 10th Season Opener Thursday night.  Those few little words have been floating around in my brain since i heard them Thursday night. DECIDE, then live the life you want to live and love who you want to love because we are all going to die. There is not an escape from death  so DECIDE. Are you living the life YOU want to live or are you living the life someone else has chosen for you? Live your life. Live each day as if it may be your last with as few regrets as possible. Because you know what today may be your last day. Everyone doesn't get to live to a hundred. some people don't even make it the legal drinking age of 21 before they leave this Earth. So for the time we are on this planet LIVE. Tomorrow doesn't always come for everyone. Live the life you want to live TODAY. Are you living your life the way you want with who you want? Or are you miserable in a never ending job because that is what is expected of you? Everybody has expectations. Everyone thinks they know what is best for everybody else. But at the end of the line when YOUR number is called guess what you go through that tunnel the same way you came in this world alone. Even twins as my astute cousin pointed out a week ago, (she is 9) they may share their mother for 9 months as one unit but when it is time to come in this world each one comes in alone. So live your life for you. Live like there is no tomorrow. Stop what you are doing right now and DECIDE is this the life I want to live. If not figure out what life you want and go get it.

Are you loving the person you want to love? Or are you exisiting in a miserable marriage wishing you were with someone you actually loved? Think how different things could have been for Princess Diana and Prince Charles if they had been allowed the freedom to love who they wanted to love like Prince William and Princess Katherine. Princess Diana spent most of her life miserable her only bright light being her children. How hard is it to be married to someone who is in love with someone else because that is what is expected of you? Camilla Parker Bowles was branded a home wrecker when in reality she is and has always been the love of Prince Charles' life.  Are you living your life and loving who you want to love? Or are you living a life full of regrets wishing you could love  who you want to love?

Life is but a fleeting moment. Fill those moments with as much happiness as you can because it may last a century it may only last a few months. Three weeks ago an 18 month old baby girl was shot and killed in New Orleans. We always think we have forever. But forever is only in fairy tales. Live your life. Love who you want to love.

Dr, Richard Webber was right. We don't get to chose how or when we come in this world and we damn sure don't get to chose how or when we leave it . The only choices we get are how we are going to live our lives and who we are going to love while we are on this journey. Take a moment, hell take as long as it takes, but DECIDE today. Then start making the changes you need to make to live the life you want to live and share with who you want to share your life with. I don't have the life I want just yet, but I am on the right path and for now that is the best I can do. But I have managed to get he other part right I am sharing my life with the man I Love. The man I want to love a man who loves. I'm pretty damn close to having the life I want. So if my number comes up today or tomorrow, if I walk out the door and get hit by a bus, or walk through the kitchen and get killed by a stray bullet, ( come on I do live in New Orleans) I am okay and at peace with all of that. I can be peace with that because I am getting up every day living my life as if it's the last day I have on this Earth. I haven't seen God's master plan so today may be my last so I'm going to live it to the fullest. Whenever my number is called I'll be at peace and I hope my family is at peace as well. I haven't always lived the life I wanted to live or loved who I wanted to love but right now today September 28, 2013 I AM LIVING THE LIFE I WANT TO LIVE and Loving who I want to love.  So if my number is called tonight it's alright because I have lived not just existed.

Decide today none of us  Knows how much time we have left to scratch things off that bucket list. Better get it out and start working on it. The Winnans have a song called tomorrow and it end with the lyric for tomorrow may very well be too late.  Don't wait until the sand in your hour glass has run out and then start trying to scramble like a quarterback in the midst of a blitz. Decide and live your life the way you want today. Now I'm going to live a little more. The hell with the extra pounds. My mama sent  one of her famously delicious carrot cakes and I'm going to have a great big slice and watch football with someone I love.