Gratitude Tuesday

I know it's a big thing to wake up one morning and realize, hey it's November I better start making a list of things I'm thankful for.  Well, that's just not the case with me. I've been running a gratitude Tuesday blog since this blog began. The last few months have not been the easiest. I haven't been writing as much as normal so for many of the new Strokies this may indeed be your first gratitude Tuesday. Sorry about that, hope you find something inspirational in these words and come  back for more. I've been spending a lot of time in my head lately. I know, that is a a really dark and scary space :-). For once checking the recesses of my mind have lead to some positive thoughts and inspirations.  It seems like the more time I spend looking in to me, finding me, the more amazing I realize this life I have is. Is it perfect. Absolutely not. But it is mine and no one can live it like I can. I'm sorting through the rift raft. Doing what we all do. I keep  find myself trying to hold onto things, and people that I know I have out grown. For what?  Simply because they were there. Everyone and everything has a season. For some chapters in my life the season has come and gone. Instead of holding onto what was it is time to be Thankful for the lessons those seasons taught and brought to my life and let them go.

Death has a funny way of making you take stock in what really matters. In the last few months I've spent a lot of time with death.  Losing loved ones and remembering people I loved and lost.  Crafting and bringing to life a serial killer for my next book prompted a few chats with death as well.  What I found out about myself while being in the company of death is life is to short for the anything but love and joy. To be frank life is too short for the bullshit.

6 weeks and 15 hours from today 2014 will roll in in here. What are you going to do different with that new beginning that you failed to make time for in 2013. That is assuming you make it to January 1, 2014. Not everyone reading this will. So let's not wait for new year's resolutions or the government to tell us today is the day we get to be thankful. Somewhere someone's family is going to cancel Thanksgiving next week because between now and then someone they love will be gone. Could be, me could be you, could be all of us. So let's be THANKFUL TODAY. Right now, this minute. Let's just live and love  in the moment and be alright with what we have and stop killing ourselves to get more of things that don't matter at the end of the day.

Like I said I've been doing a little mind inventory. You know what I've discovered in the last few months? It really doesn't matter how much money we have in the bank once the food is bought and the bills are paid. I have insomnia so I don't well. But I really hate being awake and not being next to Nick , or being awake writing  and not hearing his deep breathing while he sleeps. That matters. I also realized that all the money and material things in the world can't replace family.  So many of my sleepless nights lately I've sat up regretting decisions I made keeping me from my family. I can't do anything about the past. I can however change the future. I am not willing to wait until January to do it.  I am thankful and so blessed I have another moment, another  second, another day with the people I love. That is what I've been remembering while I've been taking stock these last few months. Not the money, not the designer clothes or bags, not any of those things I was so grateful for when they came in their shiny packages. What I think about is the love. So at the end of the day I gotta say what I am thankful for is the Love.  My life and the people I share it with.

I'm not waiting until Thanksgiving to be thankful. I'm not waiting until January for my new start. All that starts today. I'm cleaning house. There will be some that I hope will let me back in and there will be some that I let go. Everything and everyone has a season. This is my season, starting right here, right now. In this season of my life all that really matters are the blessings I am thankful for. My husband, my family, friends who have become family and the opportunity to live my dreams.  This is too funny not to share. I got up from typing this and glanced at the keyboard in the office. There in hte keyboard is a music sheet for a song. Please understand that no one in this house touches that keyboard. Only heaven knows how long that music has been sitting on the keyboard behind me mocking me. The name of the song GRATEFUL.  No, I don't believe in coincidences.

My favorite quote from Love Jones Starring Lawrence Tate and Nia Long is, " This here right now, at this very moment is all that really matter to me.That's urgent like a m*&@$(F*+%#r.." Life and being thankful for what you have. That's what matters and that my friends is urgent.

I have some urgent business to attend to. I see you tomorrow for Wednesday Wishes. Same Bat Channel same time. Peace, love and Style.